Download Developing Close Relationships

Developing Close Relationships
FRIENDSHIP
A friend…
 Often knows how you feel about certain things
without being told.
 Is someone who shares many of your viewpoints,
especially on subjects you consider important.
 Is someone who never talks about you behind your
back.
 Is someone you can share your most important
secrets with and not worry that anyone else will be
told.
Friends…
 1. connect you to what is happening around you
 2. allow you to share your thoughts, your hopes, and
your dreams
Important Qualities of a Friend…
 Loyalty
 Trust
 Affection
 Supportiveness
Friends can be important to…
 Provide emotional support
 Help you believe that are a worthwhile person
 Help you to expand your knowledge, ideas, and
perspectives
 Help you meet your needs and reach your personal
goals
 Share your hopes, concerns, and ambitions
Friendships…
 Are based on people talking to each other and
sharing thoughts, feelings, and ideas
 Requires communication, and this is the channel
that connects you to others
 Will understand the need to change and grow
without fearing the friend will no longer be your
friend (the sign of true friendship is to allow
someone to grow)
 You will be able to trust each other’s independence
Close friendships with a person of the opposite
sex…
 Is not uncommon during the teen years
 Can be a testing ground for the honesty, truth, respect,
and communication that is critical to any lasting malefemale relationship
 May remain as a very special relationship for your entire
life
 May also grow into a more serious emotional
relationship later on because the basis for mutual
understanding has been established
Reasons for dating:
 Gender identity
 Weaning from family
 Social competence
 Communication skills
 Assessing ego needs
 Clarification of life philosophy
 Coping with sexual feelings
 Relating to other sex
 Developing meaningful relationships
 Self-understanding
 Others?
Dating Patterns
Functions of Dating…
 As people date, they not only have fun, they learn
more about themselves
 Through give-and-take of dating relationships, they
also learn how to get along with others
 Interpersonal skills are improved as communication
skills develop
 Encourages good peer relationships and helps you
learn to evaluate personalities
 Helps you become better able to discover those
personality traits that appeal to you and those that
do not
 Helps make you aware of the demands and
restrictions involved in getting along with members
of the opposite sex which are likely to be more
successful marriage partners
 Helps you discover yourself and to learn about other
people in a variety of settings
Informal Group Dating…
 “Just being with people” rather than having
structured dates
 More emphasis is put on groups of people than on
couples
 May also be referred to as ‘hanging out’
 Group activities are often planned jointly by males
and females, although girls are more likely to initiate
plans (or may just meet at popular spot with no
actual plans)
 These may enjoy doing things in groups that they
might not do alone
 This may prepare teens for one-to-one relationships
 Persons may pair off with different people for
different events, without the pressure of dating
 These experiences allow you to form your own ideas
about people and about life
 You can share thoughts and feelings while relating to
a person as a friend rather than as a prospective
mate
 Having a variety of experiences with different people
will prepare you for making decisions later in life
Formal Pair Dating
 1. You may discover one person you especially like
and begin to “see each other” (no long-term
commitment)
 2. May begin with one date and may end with just
one date (called casual dating)
 3. You may decide not to date anyone else for a
period of time, friends may say “you are going out” or
steady dating
 4. that becoming a couple

Will allow you to feel that this person really understands you and
cares about you

Allows you to be special to someone

Makes you aware that you can have a great time just being
together
 5. You may notice an increased respect for one another as
individuals (dating is a meeting of equals)
 6. Couples can share decision making, express feelings
honestly, and develop good communication patterns
 7. As young people are marring at a later age, this gives
time to develop more friendships, then when ready can
move from friendship to a caring and committed
relationship (ready to offer closeness, loyalty,
understanding, open communication, and a special sense
of intimacy)
Developing Relationships
 Carl Sandburg describes this process when he said
“People are like onions. You uncover them a
layer at a time, and sometimes you cry.”
 As boy meets girl and are attracted to one another,
 They share interests
 Their personal priorities and goals seem to be similar
 Their relationship deepens which all appears to be a magic
formula
 But developing a lasting relationship between two
people is not that easy.