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Tim Clinton, Ed.D.
Gary Sibcy, II, Ph.D.
Joshua Straub, Ph.D.
Mind
Brain
Relation
ship
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Neural Networks—based on experience
The Brain as a “social organ”
Neural Plasticity
Neural Integration
Gene Expression
Enriched Environments
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How the brain grows
◦ Bottom to top; right to left
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Integrated, regulated brain
◦ Top to bottom; left and right
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Finding the Zone—
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Support—safe, regulated
Challenge—emotional activation
Think—label, communicate, problem solve
Relate—attend, back-and-forth, collaborative
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Brain wires itself based on experience
Asks several questions:
◦ Is the world a safe place?
◦ Can I count on my caregiver’s to help me in time of
need?
◦ Can I get the care I need when I need it?
Care =
Love
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Implicit Memory—
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Present at birth
Includes behavioral, emotional, perceptual, body
Mental models—states become traits
Conscious attention not required for encoding
No sense of recollection when memories recalled
Does not involve hippocampus—mostly amygdala
and limbic-motoric
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Explicit Memory
Emerges in second year of life
Sense of recollection when recalled
If autobiographical, sense of self and time present
Includes semantic (factual) and episodic
(autobiographical)
◦ Requires conscious attention
◦ Involves hippocampus—converts to context
◦ If autobiographical—involves prefrontal cortex
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Sensitive, timely responses to child’s distress
Enhance regulation, brain stem, limbic system
◦ Stimulate integration of these systems, ultimately
through integration of these systems with the
middle prefrontal cortex
The Big Five
Seeks Proximity in times of
trouble
Safe Haven Experience
Secure BaseExploration
Separationanxiety/anger
LossGrief
Self-Confidence/Exploration
Felt security
Secure Base
Caregiver’s
Signal detection
Perceived Threat
Safe Haven
Attachment System
Signaling
Proximity Seeking
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The middle prefrontal cortex
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Anterior cingualate
Orbital prefrontal cortex
The mediate prefrontal
Ventral lateral
All work together as a team
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Body regulation--
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Attuned communication--
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Emotional balance--
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Response Flexibility--
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Insight—
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Empathy
 Mindsight
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Fear modulation
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Accessing intuition
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Morality
Parent Responses Themes
Responsive/Attuned
Rejecting/disengaged
/overly Intrusive
Inconsistent/Role
reversal
Frightening/
Threatening/
Dissociated
Attachment Style
Secure
Avoidant
Ambivalent
Disorganized
AAI Classifications
of Pre-term
Mothers in Third
Trimester of
Pregnancy
70%
ACCURACY
Child Strange
Situation
Classification At
Twelve –Months
75% TO
78%
ACCURACY
AAI
Classification
16 To 20
Years Later
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The Sacred Romance -- “Lover of our Soul”
Love and Marriage -- Genesis 2:18-25; SOS;
Matt.19; I Cor. 7; I Cor. 13; Eph.5:21 ff; I
Peter 3:1-10
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The Family -- Deut. 6:6-9, Psalm 127; I Tim. 5:8
Self
•Am I worthy?
•Am I capable?
•Am I willing?
Other
•Are
•Are
•Are
•Are
you trustworthy?
accessible?
you capable?
you willing?
Positive View
Low Avoidance
Negative View
High Avoidance
OTHER
Positive View
Low Anxiety
SELF
Negative View
High Anxiety
SECURE
PREOCCUPIED
Comfortable with
intimacy and
autonomy
Preoccupied with
relationships and
abandonment
DISMISSING
FEARFUL
Downplays intimacy,
overly self-reliant
Fearful of intimacy,
socially avoidant
Figure 1.Bartholomew’s model of self and other
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Other
Secure Attachment
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Self
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Self Dimension
I’m worthy of love
I’m capable of getting the love I need
Other Dimension
Others are willing and able to love me
I can count on you to be there for me
Ambivalent Attachment
Self Dimension
I am not worth of love (I feel flawed)
I’m not able to get love I need without being
angry or clingy
Other Dimension
Capable but unwilling (bc my flaws)
May abandon me (bc my flaws)
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Avoidant Attachment
Self Dimension
I’m worthy of love (false pride)
I’m capable of getting love I want and need
(false sense of mastery)
Other Dimension
Others are incompetent
Others are untrustworthy
Fearful Attachment
Self Dimension
I’m not worthy of love
I’m unable to get the love I need
Other Dimension
Others are unwilling
Others are unable
Others are abusive, I deserve it
Secure Attachment
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Full range
Good control
Self-soothes
Shares feelings
Ok with others’ feelings
Capable of accurate empathy
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Avoidant Attachment
Restricted Range
Too much control
Uses things to soothe self, prone to
addictions
Keeps feelings at a distance
Doesn’t share feelings
Restricted empathy
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Ambivalent Attachment Disorganized Attachment
Full range
Poor control
Can’t self soothe
Shares Feelings too much
Overwhelms others with their feelings
Uses feelings instrumentally to gain
proximity
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Full Range, but few positive feelings
Poor control
Can’t self-soothe
Can’t really share with others
Overwhelmed by others feelings
Dissociates when in face of strong emotion
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Secure Attachment
Comfortable with closeness
Shares feelings and dreams
Willing to commit
Balances closeness and distance
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Avoidant Attachment
Not comfortable with closeness
Withholds feelings and dreams
Difficulty with commitment
Distances
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Ambivalent Attachment Disorganized Attachment
Desires closeness, but never seems to
have enough
Wants to merge with other
Preoccupied with abandonment
Clings and criticizes
Crisisattachment
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Desires closeness, but fears and avoids
it
Wants to merge, then wants to
distance
Terrified of abandonment
Sabotages closeness
Attracted to people who victimize
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Kirkpatrick
◦ Reframes attachment within religious context
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Christian conception of God satisfies
Ainsworth’s attachment criteria:
Seeks closeness in times of trouble
Safe Haven
Exploration
Separationanxiety/anger
LossGrief
Christian Attachment Therapy
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Philippians 4:4-7
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be
evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in
everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests
to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.(NIV)
Ps 17:6-10
I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my
prayer. Show the wonder of your great love, you who save by your right hand
those who take refuge in you from their foes. Keep me as the apple of your
eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings from the wicked who assail me,
from my mortal enemies who surround me. They close up their callous
hearts, and their mouths speak with arrogance.(NIV)
Christian Attachment Therapy
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Ps 46:1-4
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in
trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its
waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their
surging. Selah
Christian Attachment Therapy
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-Research shows people seek God for a safe haven and
secure base during times of stress.
Most researched area of attachment theory in the context
of religion
In times of emotional distress or loss, it has been found
that people:
-turn to prayer rather than the church
-grieving persons tend to increase their faith and
religious devotion
-soldiers pray more frequently in combat
-times of death and divorce
-fears associated with serious illness
-emotional crises
-relationship problems
-other negative events
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As substitute attachment figure (Kirkpatrick, 1992)
Provides “felt security” (Sroufe, 1977)
More similar to parent-child relationship but
moderate and consistent link to romantic
attachment (Kirkpatrick, 1992, 1999; Rowatt & Kirkpatrick,
2002)
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Measured on two dimensions: Anxiety and
Avoidance
(Beck & McDonald, 2004)
THE ATTACHMENT TO GOD INVENTORY
(Beck and McDonald, 2004)
The Experiences in Close Relationships
scale
(Brennan et al. 1998)
-Avoidance of Intimacy
-Anxiety about Abandonment
Increased anxiety of
abandonment
Preoccupation and
worry
Increased Avoidance
A reluctance to
communicate
Angry protest
Avoidance of
emotionality
Increased jealousy
Obsessive self-reliance
Resentment
Concerns that they are
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Attachment style impacts how God is
viewed
◦ Secure: He is there, I can count on Him. He will
accepts me, in spite of my flaws
◦ Avoidant: He isn’t there for me when I need Him.
I will have to go at life alone. I don’t really need
Him.
◦ Ambivalent: I’m too flawed; God is sure to reject
me. I probably committed the unpardonable sin
◦ Disorganized: I’m flawed, beyond repair. God will
strike me down if I turn toward Him. He will
surely reject or punish me.
Christian Attachment Therapy
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-God may serve as a compensatory attachment
figure for individuals displaying insecure
attachment patterns (Kirkpatrick & Shaver, 1997,
1998).
--avoidant attachment types had higher incidents
of sudden conversions. These results indicate
that God may serve the role of a substitute
attachment figure (emotional compensation),
compensating for the distant, unresponsive caregiving style they experienced in infancy and
childhood. This hypothesis is based upon
Ainsworth’s (1985) findings that those with
insecure attachment styles seek substitute
-proposes that individuals with secure
attachment styles are more likely to
sustain a future belief and relationship
with God because a foundation has been
established throughout childhood. This
hypothesis is based on Bowlby’s (1969)
idea that relationship permanence and
stability stem from stable working models
of attachment (Kirkpatrick & Shaver, 1997,
1998).
According to this hypothesis--the
explanation to the root of
religiousness in securely attached
individuals may be derived “from
without”, or socialization processes,
whereas the religiousness of the
insecurely attached individual may be
derived “from within”, or emotional
regulation (Granqvist & Hagekull).
The connection between attachment
insecurity and sudden religious conversion
may be considered the most robust and
corroborated finding from the research on
attachment and religion…This
interpretation is in line with ambivalents’
observed tendency to desperately seek care
and easily fall in love, and may be a
continuation of the inconsistency in
parental caregiving that has been shown to
be characteristic of parents in ambivalent
dyads
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Factual
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Emotional
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Volitional
Secure
Adult/Roman
tic
Secure
Childhood
Corrective
Relational
Experience
Secure God
Trauma/Loss
Insecure
Childhood
Insecure God
Insecure
Adult/Roman
tic
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Warmth and security—responsiveness and
attunement
Regulation so child is not overwhelmed
Relatedness and engagement
Back and forth emotional signaling and
gesturing
Problem solving
Using ideas in meaningful and functional
way
Thinking and reasoning
Step I: Remember Your Story – Narrative
Recall
Step II: Recognize Your Pain and Need for
Healing – “Can’t heal what you don’t feel”
Step III: Reframe the Meaning of Your
Story
Step IV: Repair Your Story – ‘forgiveness,
grace and acceptance’
Step V: Reconnect – deepening emotional
strands of safety, trust and intimacy; able
to accept influence from others.